July 31.06

I have way too many places to write.
And, apparently, not enough umph to write in them all.
This goes back to keeping 4 journals at once. Maybe it's a.d.d. Who knows.

This blog, however, is going to be separated from the rest. I won't rant here about how my basement is flooded, or the dogs are driving me mad, or how I can't sleep.
No, this one's for that precious little part of my brain that designs.

I came across the "A List Apart" site today, while going through Zeldman.com for inspiration. I do this when my brain stalls and I forget that I can occasionally be absolutely brilliant in design and writing. Working mundane jobs a trained monkey can do, will do this to you. Make you forget. Why I hate doing them.

Anyway.
The site ignited the fire again, which is precisely why I went there to begin with.
I've fallen away from the design community, stopped visitng the usual boards, stopped perusing the usual sites. Stopped learning, and that's frightening. For about a month, I've just kind of dropped the researching. And let me tell you, I feel stupid. I know I'm not, but I have that lethargy that procrastination brings. That awful feeling that I don't know enough about what I'm gifted at.

So it ends today.
Today, the research begins again.
Today, as I sit doing absolutely nothing that requires any conscious thought at all at what passes for a job, I kick start my brain again.
Remind it what we're actually capable of.
Remind it that we're really actually good at what we do. That we should be doing this for a living, instead of sitting behind a desk listening to people with less intelligence and far more money than I, screaming at me.

I am not who I have slipped into today.